WRITTEN
BY
Roger Newcomb
STARRING
(in order of appearance)
Wendy Hammer as Miranda Phillips
Nick Sullivan as Paul Ramos
PAUL
is sitting in his study talking with MIRANDA.
MIRANDA
Paul,
the man that I have feelings for… is you.
PAUL
(taken aback)
Miranda,
I’m not sure what to say.
MIRANDA
You
don’t need to say anything, Paul. Just
let me get this out in the open while I have the nerve. I’ve had feelings for you for as long as I
can remember. You are the kindest, most
wonderful man I’ve ever met.
PAUL
Miranda,
you are the best and most loyal employee that I have at home or at the office,
but…
MIRANDA
I’ve been dreaming about this moment and hoping that you would tell me that
somewhere, deep inside, you have even the smallest feeling for me as well?
PAUL
Well,
of course I have feelings for you, Miranda.
You’re more than a housekeeper here, you’re also a friend.
MIRANDA
Oh,
I’m so happy to hear you say that.
PAUL
But
look, please don’t misconstrue those feelings of friendship to mean anything
more than it is. They are not romantic
feelings, Miranda. I’m afraid I don’t
feel that way about you at all.
MIRANDA
Oh,
I see. But maybe in
time…
PAUL
No,
Miranda. I would never ruin the great
working relationship that you and I share and have built over all these years.
MIRANDA
Working
relationship? Feelings
of friendship? Paul, I have
worked for you for twenty years and have been loyal to you in ways you don’t
even realize.
PAUL
I
don’t want to upset you, but all of this has taken me quite by surprise. Although Barbara has told me that she
suspected something like this.
MIRANDA
Oh,
Barbara. She was all wrong for you
anyway. She was nothing but a
gold-digging slut. You need a woman who
will love you unconditionally, Paul.
Someone who…
PAUL
Miranda,
I think we should end this conversation now before it goes too far. If you are going to remain as housekeeper
here, we have to pretend we never had this little talk.
MIRANDA
“IF” I remain housekeeper? Are you
actually threatening to fire me, Paul?
You’re the one who told me to be honest about my feelings.
PAUL
I
realize that, but I thought you were talking about someone else. And I certainly would never want to let you
go, but I would be lying if I told you that hearing that you have these deep
feelings for me doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
MIRANDA
I
have held these feelings inside my heart for years. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I love you, Paul. I really do.
PAUL
Miranda, please. This conversation is
over.
MIRANDA
It
can’t be over until you at least acknowledge my feelings. Do you truly believe that women like Barbara
Whitman can make you happy?
PAUL
Frankly,
my happiness is none of your business. I
hate to be so cold but that’s just the way it is. Look, you’ve obviously been dealing with this
for a while now, so I think you need a break.
I am giving you a six week sabbatical starting now.
MIRANDA
Six
weeks? I pour my heart out to you and you
just try to get rid of me? Is that the
kind of man you really are? I thought
you were better than that.
PAUL
My
decision is final, Miranda. I want you
to gather your things, and I’ll you again in six weeks. I’m hoping you can put all this behind you by
then.
MIRANDA
I’m
afraid I won’t be going anywhere, Paul.
PAUL
Are
you deliberately disobeying an order, Miranda?
MIRANDA
An order? Look, I’m not taking a six
week sabbatical. I love my job and don’t
want the time off.
PAUL
I
not asking you, I’m telling you.
MIRANDA
Paul,
that’s one “order” that I refuse to take.
PAUL
Then
I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go, Miranda. This is all such a surprise and the last
thing I expected tonight, but I think it’s time you go.
MIRANDA
You
can’t fire me.
PAUL
And
just why is that?
MIRANDA
Because
if you do, I will go straight to Dante and tell him not only is he adopted, but
who his real Daddy is. You wouldn’t want
that, now would you?